Newfangled religious assurances (guarantees)
Once upon a time, long, long ago, this was the way people understood it : they required of a man who would be a teacher of Christianity that his life too should furnish guarantees for what he taught.
Now they have got far away from that, the world has become shrewder, more serious, has learned to disdain all this petty, morbid concern about the personal, has learned to desire only the objective33 — now it is required that the teacher's life shall furnish guarantees that what he says is a pleasantry, a dramatic flourish, a divertissement, altogether objective.
A few examples. If what you would talk about is that Christianity, the Christianity of the New Testament, has a preference for the single state, and you yourself are a single man — my dear fellow, that is no subject for you to talk about, the congregation might in fact believe that it was seriousness, become uneasy, or might feel offended that in this way, so unbecomingly, you brought your own personality into it. No, it will be a long time before you will be in a position to talk seriously about that, in such a way as to content the congregation. Wait till you already have your first wife under the sod and are a good piece along with the second; that is the time for you, then you will step before the congregation to teach and "witness" that Christianity has a preference for the single state — and you will content the people perfectly; for your life furnishes guarantees that this is foolery, a jollification, or that what you say is interesting. Yes, how interesting! For just as in a marriage, if it is to be assured against boredom, if it is to be interesting, the husband must be unfaithful to the wife, and the wife to the husband, so too the truth only becomes interesting, immensely interesting, when a person in an exalted mood lets himself be gripped by it, carried away, enchanted — but of course does exactly the opposite and is cunningly secured by letting it stop at that.
If you would talk about the Christian contempt for titles, decorations and the tomfoolery of glory...and you yourself are neither a person of rank nor anything resembling it — my dear fellow, that is no subject for you to talk about, the congregation might in fact believe that it was seriousness, or feel offended at your lack of breeding in obtruding your own personality. No, wait till you yourself have laid up a store of decorations, wait till you are dragging with you such a rigmarole of titles that for the multitude of them you hardly know what your name is — then is the time, then you will step forward to preach and "witness"; for your life furnishes guarantees that this is dramatic entertainment, an interesting morning's recreation.
If you would talk about preaching Christianity in poverty, affirming that this is the genuine Christian preaching. ..and you literally are a poor devil — my dear fellow, this is no subject for you to talk about, the congregation might in fact believe that it was seriousness, become fearful, feel quite put out and in the highest degree uncomfortable at having poverty come to such close quarters with them. No, first procure a fat living, and then when you have had that so long that you soon will be promoted to a still fatter one, that is the appropriate time, then you will appear before the congregation to preach and "witness," and you will completely content them; for your life furnishes guarantees that the whole thing turns out to be a jest, such as serious men might desire once in a while at the theater or in church, in order to gather new strength...to make money.
And this is the way they worship God in the churches! And there silken and velvet orators weep, they sob, their voice is stifled by tears! Oh, in case it is true (and so it is, for God himself says it) that God counts the tears of the suffering and puts them in a bottle — then woe to these orators, if God has also counted their Sunday tears and kept them in a bottle!34 Yea, woe to us all, in case God really notices these Sunday tears, especially those of the orators, but of the audience, too! For a Sunday orator would be right in saying (and oratorically it would certainly make a brilliant effect, especially when supported by tears and that stifled sob), he would be right in saying to the audience, "I will collect all the useless tears you have shed in church, and with them I will appear accusingly before God at the Day of Judgment" — he is right, only do not forget that the orator's own dramatic tears were far more pernicious than the light-minded tears of the audience.
Translator's Footnote
33It might have been remarked earlier that, in contrast to the objectivity which was (and is) so highly extolled by scientific men and philosophers, S. K. insisted upon the necessity of subjectivity in religion and theology, in a sense which is made clear in the Postscript.
34Cf. Psalm 56:8. In the Journal for 1852 (X 4 A 566. See my Kierkegaard, p. 518) S. K. remarks upon the fact that Mynster in one of his Meditations dwells pathetically upon the futility of the tears people have shed when listening to him: "whereas they do not act accordingly. And with these tears I shall step forth at the Day of Judgment and say, I have done my part." "Strangely enough," says S. K., "I had just been thinking of gathering up all the tears Mynster has shed upon the pulpit, whereas it has been made clear that he does not act accordingly."